Engagement Pictures

We weren't even going to do engagement pictures, I guess we weren't even really thinking about it....until our friends were getting their newborn session done and mentioned that their photographer was promoting a special deal, and she was really good. So I researched and then contacted the photographer to set up our session. Unfortunately it rained on the scheduled day and I was super bummed, but we rescheduled and it worked out perfectly (though it was SUPER windy that day!!)
We got our pictures taken on September 29th, at the Minnesota Arboretum and then at another location which was just this random field on the way home. Funny how the "random spots" are the best, right?

Anyway, enough about us!! I really wanted to share our photographer's website because she is just amazing: http://www.courtneypenningtonphotography.com/
She (Courtney Pennington) can also be found on Facebook. She was really easy going and made us feel very comfortable (as we hadn't taken professional pictures since our senior pictures haha!) Courtney is so so so sweet, and it was fun to meet up with her to get our CD of images, and then our enlargements because we always just got to chatting!! :)
She's very personable, and I love to hear her stories because when she talks about her clients, you can tell she truely loves what she does and treasures the people she gets to meet. I really enjoyed our experience with her and would HIGHLY recommend her! Now I couldn't have imagined NOT capturing this special time in our lives (as it goes by soooo fast) leading up to getting married.

Here's a few of our favorites from the session:

savings account

Last night I was driving home from being out with my co-workers and my cell phone went off in the car and "Dad's Cell" lit up on the screen. I just watched it ring in the darkness as I drove down the freeway, waiting for yet another empty voicemail, which never says what it should. This is only the second or third call in over a year and a half.

I remember going to lay in bed shortly after I got home and playing the message on speakerphone for Erik. Hot tears rolled down my cheeks listening to my dad's emotionless voice talking through pretty emotion filled subjects if you know what I mean....
My dad always leaves the same message: condescending, belittling, degrading, and always accusatory.

So anyway, today was payday, and it was time. After work, I went straight to Wells Fargo and opened a savings account to start saving for our wedding. I haven't had a savings account since I was about 15 years old...so yeah, whatever, it felt like a big deal. As broke as Erik and I have been (as WE ALL have been LOL) I put $180 in there and felt really proud of myself as I drove home. I wanted so badly just to tell someone, but no one would understand why something so small would mean so much to me.
My pride is just in the fact that I don't need any help. I'm used to not getting it, I was raised without it. I was kicked out of my house at 17 years old, and I've made it on my own ever since. I paid my own bills, got my own place, and paid my own way through college, never receiving so much as a nickel from my parents.
And even though I have sometimes felt frustrated and hopeless already in this wedding process, I know I can do this to. Where there's a will, there's a way.
I can plan this wedding, I will make it work...just like I've always had to make it work...without them.

the dream dress...

Monique Lhuillier Starlight_gown.jpg

Fall 2011 Collection

keep the past in the past....

I have had a few bad experiences with Facebook in the past, but never like the story I am about to share.  Facebook can convey the "wrong message", things can become misconstrued in what you were trying to say, certain opinons or "feeds" of conversations can go too far, etc. It all kind of makes me start to see the harm that Facebook can inflict. The wrong means of communication through social networking can really hurt someone. It's no wonder we have high school suicides over it.

Anyway, Erik has an ex, as we all do...only this particular ex was his high school sweetheart. They had dated for a few years, but the relationship ended abruptly when Erik caught her red handed cheating on him!!!

When I met Erik, our very first conversations were about the disasterous relationships that we had just come out of and how we were looking for someone who would be mature, drama free, trustworthy, and possibly even "that person". I still remember sitting at the Green Mill in Eden Prairie and listening to him vent the painful story of his ex and how he gave her EVERYTHING, and she ended up cheating on him. I could tell he was still hurt, but ready to grow up, move on to something real, and away from such "juvenile relationships."

Then to my discomfort, I had to actually see his ex here and there when she would turn up at bars we were at with our friends, and she would behave and act as though she was still apart of the group. Back then, I was the "new girlfriend", and maybe we were intimidated by each other, but I didn't her see her all that much, and so didn't give her much thought.

But then this girl would still mail hand written letters to Erik's mom's house when he and I were first seeing each other. And over Facebook she would tag Erik in old high school prom pictures....slowly but surely, she really started to irritate me, as it seemed she clearly wasn't over him, and she wouldn't back off.

More recently, in the past year or more, this girl has sent Erik numerous private messages over Facebook, and we've had to see her more often as she is always creeping her way into our group functions.

But last night was the last and final straw.
I came across yet another (very long) message from this girl to Erik. The message spoke of a conversation that they had at Carver County Steamboat Days. The message revealed a dark secret which I had never, and was never, suppost to know about - as well as her own false perceptions of Erik being very "unhappy" with me, and his and my relationship having problems - which supposively showed whenever he and I are "in public". This message spoke of her feelings for Erik, memories they had shared, and her wanting to re-connect and talk more with him, as she thinks about him so often. She stated her "forever love", her regrets with him, etc. But the most disturbing part was hints that Erik should be thinking twice about marrying me.

I have now "blocked" her on the internet, and the next time I see her, she will know exactly how I feel about ALL OF THIS, I promise. I've kept it civil for seven years, nnnoooooo longer! Under no circumstance is it ever appropriate to write to your ex, mettle in their current relationship, let alone if they are about to get married!! I for one know where almost all my exes are, I feel like I can be friendly with them if I were to run into them, but that's it.
To my own exes: Thank you. Good or bad, you were apart of my youth, *but you are in the past*
You will always be apart of the woman I became, and because of you I came to find out exactly what I have always wanted in a relationship...and now I have it.

So in conclusion, if Erik's ex ever happens to read this, "I got the ring baybay"-in the words of my friend Christina :)
YOU blew it way back then, but Erik's long over it, and long over you. He's living his happily ever after...(sorry if you're not.)

http://www.courtneypenningtonphotography.com/

8/15/11.....the news I have been waiting for

BIG NEWS!!!! My brother just got engaged!! I am so happy! I think his girlfriend is perfect for him, I've always loved her and I can't imagine him with anyone better. Now that he and I are both engaged, I am really excited to see how it all unfolds in 2012! Congratulations!! <3

Duluth bound!!

This past weekend we went up for a fun 2 night trip that Erik planned and booked for us at the Sheraton in Duluth, to celebrate our 7 year anniversary.

DAY 1: We arrived in Duluth around 4pm and checked into our hotel. What an awesome room! The bathroom was what I would desire in my own home, with these small french doors, what Erik described as "Ralph Lauren" style wallpaper, little octagon floor tile, and a huge glass shower!

Once we settled in, we ventured downstairs to the main lobby and out onto the street. We walked down to Pizza Luce to have a few happy hour drinks at their bar. Then we walked directly across the street to this really cool store called Electric Fetus. It's a hippie/record/incence/glass/jewelry type of place that I loved wandering around in. Erik bought me this super cutie hat that I can wear this fall!! I can't believe how much one can truly love an accessory, but I do!!

Next, we walked downtown into the streets of Canal Park, went in and out of a couple shops, hung out by this really unique fountain feature, and visited the Chocolate Factory of course - where I got some chocolate covered strawberries and Erik got a mint chocolate covered Oreo.

Cool water fountain feature downtown

The Chocolate Factory window of candy covered apples :)

We then wandered down by the banks of Lake Superior, walking out onto the well known pier to the lighthouse, and back. We also went along the docks to look at sailboats and other VERY large boats! :)

Later on for dinner, we ate at Timberlodge, which we were super excited about because it's one of our favorite places, but they have closed a few of their restaurants back home, so we can't go anymore. I tried a new interesting drink called a 1919 Bullfrog, which reminded me of a White Russian or Colorado Bulldog...man was it strong, but delicious!
We used the hotel shuttle mostly all weekend so we wouldn't have to keep retrieving our car in the parking ramp. They came to pick us up at Timberlodge, took us to Walgreens so we could grab a few things we'd forgot at home, then took us back to the hotel. We went to our room and changed and then came back down to the hotel lobby to sit in their comfy, formal lounge and sip on some drinks. It was pretty entertaining to "people watch" there for the rest of the evening!!

DAY 2: In the morning we showered and then went down to the hotel's 301 Restaurant to enjoy a really good & cheap breakfast! Then we took the hotel shuttle to see the recommended "Rose Gardens" that were in full bloom, and walked around there.

At the "Rose Gardens"

We made our own way back to the hotel after wandering around the park - and then got shuttled quickly back downtown to board the Vista Fleet for the 1pm two hour cruise. The weather couldn't have been any more perfect for a boat ride!!

On the Vista Fleet Cruise!

After we got picked back up by the shuttle when the cruise was over, we went back to the hotel and got our car from the parking ramp. We headed out to Spirit Mountain to ride their famous alpine coaster, the "Timber Twister". That was so so so fun!! The first time we went down, the people in front of us weren't going fast enough, so the coaster operators gave us a free pass to budge in line and go down again. This second time Erik didn't use any breaks and it was amazing!! I felt like I was going to fly off the track on some of those turns!! Being that Erik is such a "racing fan", it was no surprise that he actually laughed the entire time going down that hill. :)
We did wait in line for the new zip line that had just opened that month. But after over a half an hour and only moving a few feet in line, calculating that only 2 people could go at a time for a total of 48 seconds, and the line was 30 people long and maybe 4 people wide...we dropped out (along with many other people) and used our tickets to go back on the Timber Twister for a third and final time!! I would love to go on the zip line some day, but be warned... the wait doesn't seem worth it.

About to go down The Timber Twister!

Later that night, after we got back to the hotel and changed, Erik took me to this really posh lounge called the Black Water Restaurant. It was really unique, all the tables were low knee height, and each table had different leather and plush chairs, or larger round couches for seating.
Erik picked this place because I could eat sushi there, how thoughtful!! :)

Crunchy Roll, my personal favorite!

Godiva Chocolate Fondue, AMAZING!!!!

DAY 3: The last day. We slept in, got up and showered before check out at noon, then headed to Pizza Luce for lunch. I had the best breakfast pizza and fruit covered waffle EVER!! I literally ate everything, and downed 2 mimosas, while Erik didn't even finish his personal sausage pizza. :)

This was for sure one of the best weekends we've had together, LOVED IT!
Note: another awesome thing that happened was when Erik went to pay the hotel bill, they ended up taking off over $150 because we didn't get the "full on lake view" that Erik had asked for...WIN!

it's the people that show up for you that matter...

After Erik & I announced our Engagement, his 2 best friends were over at our house one night and offered to throw us an Engagement Party. I was a little taken back because we hadn't even thought of doing anything. Immediately I also had hesitations because of some serious family issues going on, and I didn't think certain family members of mine would even attend, but I told Erik's friends to let us think about it. 

A day or so later, we decided to just have a "friends only dinner". This way, we could have a fun, stress free evening and wouldn't have to worry about the "darker corners" of our lives.

They knew our wedding theme was all about nature and the outdoors, but I never expected it to be set up so beautifully. I was literally at a loss for words when we walked into the restaurant area we had reserved that night to see the table centerpieces, cupcakes, treats, and little plaques with sayings. I couldn't have set it up better myself. Erik's friends that were hosting also bought a round of appetizers for everyone, and we all just sat back to eat and talk for a couple hours.

I wanted to showcase pictures of "Erik's friends" because there's a deeper meaning to this particular blog entry.

In my mind, my friends and his friends would mix and mingle that night...but in fact, they stayed separate. That's ok though, I happily went from table to table, just thankful to those that had made it.

The difference is, I don't have one big tight knit "group" of friends that all grew up together. My friends are an eclectic group of past co-workers, high school, and college friends. And I haven't personally kept a *best friend* since I was in high school - back when girls were backstabbing, catty, mean, clicky, and gossipy. LOL, what's changed really? I'm damaged goods, I've hurt and have been hurt.
I guess the reason I don't give someone the title of a best friend anymore is because in my experience it's a lot of up-keep, like having a second boyfriend or something. I don't like to be smothered, I don't like answering to someone, and I have always hated those really big fights. :) I also give what I get, and I like to keep friendships very equal and fair. If you're close with me, you know I'm a HUGE advocate for "doing the right thing", and there's very few women that follow this motto.

But no really, I like my friends in different zip codes, I like them all different...and when they don't all know each other, it's almost gossip/drama free every time you get together!! I like to keep my friends at an arms length, but they know that I'm only a phone call away.
And is it just me that thinks you get a long better with certain people when you don't see them as often?????? Think what you will of me, but I'm perfectly happy this way.

Erik's group of friends either all grew up together, or have known each other for years and years. But when I met them, I never quite felt like I could give them my all because I knew I was an outsider, not an "original". When you're dating someone, they always feel like "his friends", not yours. And yeah, sometimes you feel left out if they reminisce of old times when they were all 16 years old. There's always been the hesitant, cautious feeling in the back of my mind not to get too attached, because I never knew what would happen with Erik and I, and if something did, these people would no longer be my friends. I mean, let's be serious, they were never mine to begin with, they were his.

But now that I am marrying into this group, I finally feel 100% apart of this dysfunctional family ;)
We ARE a family. I have known this group of people for 7 years and I am officially attached. The group expands and shrinks and changes, but if you have something important planned, they will be there. And it's the people that show up for you that matter.
Erik says QUOTE, "Life long friends lift you up, let you down, pass away, grow up and have kids, but at the end of the day they're still you're friends no matter what. We rise and fall as one. I can pick up the phone if I need help and they won't blink an eye. I've been friends with them for so long that I can't imagine anything separating us. It will be that way forever."

Happy Saturday!!!!

First and foremost, it's my younger brother's 26th birthday today!!!

Also, Erik and I are long overdue, but finally going boating today with one of my bridesmaids and her boyfriend! Yay! Super excited, and posting pictures for sure later on!!! Almost two years ago I remember Erik asking me: should we stay in our lake town of Excelsior, MN and live in apartments forever and just buy a boat instead of a house?? ......It was a tough call. :)

I hope everyone has a beautiful and fun day!!! I am so thankful that people are actually reading about our life, and seem interested in returning, as we have over 700 views today! WOW! And I only started this blog about a week and a half ago!

there's no milk...

Food Wars (previous entry) is a battle that rages on!! Even until 9:40pm at night!! :)
Our fridge is empty as we wait for me to get paid tomorrow for the much needed grocery shopping that is weeks overdue. Erik is outside, blaring music in our garage and swearing at the 1970 Challenger he is working on for our good friends.
He tells me to just make him a bag of "Pasta Sides" for dinner. So I go fill a pot of water, pull out some supplies.........there's no milk. I go down to tell him. "I told you that we literally have NO FOOD in the house," I say, "what am I suppost to make?" Erik has no response.
Funny how it seems easy to just run up to the gas station and grab some milk, but it's too late. We're both tired and the day is nearing the end, and we're just not in the mood.

Haha, it's kind of amusing, but it will be resolved tomorrow.

Our options for dinner...

just some boring good news.

Remi's labwork came back today. The dog is completely normal! She has also been behaving herself...
Erik's mom called and then stopped over last night to take her for a walk, NICE!!! I think we might have a free walker! :)

Also...
Erik and I had a lengthy discussion last night, over a KFC and Arby's dinner, on changes we should make to diet and exercise. Haha. He told me that he wants me to prepare more meals, and he will eat whatever I make. Well we'll see how that goes. Usually when I cook, he adds 10x more cheese or sour cream, grabs a bag of Doritos for another "side", or he'll make something totally different on his own for another side. (Sigh)

it's me or the dog...

This morning I woke up to find the dog sleeping on the bathroom rug (strange), and two very large urine spots in the "dog's room". This is the one thing I DO NOT TOLERATE, especially in our new home. I tried to clean it up the best I could before work, but we had no pet carpet cleaner left. I put the dog in her kennel, and closed the door to her room to keep the cats out.
I called Erik on my way to work, furious, because those urine spots were dry so HE MUST have seen them and just left for work anyway. Erik denied that he saw anything, and the conversation was going no where, so that was that, and the tone was set for the day if you know what I mean.

After work, I went straight to PetsSmart and spend half of our much needed grocery money on pet carpet cleaner/odor eliminator, a new dog bed, and a bag of dog food (since she was totally out, but don't get me started on that either.) When I got home, Erik was cleaning the dog's room with the shop vac. I questioned him again about ignoring the spots this morning, but he still denied it, and denied it. The argument really escalated from everything that has been building up with the dog, and I angered myself to tears. So I put myself in "a time out" in our room and Erik left me alone until we talked about the dog's fate a couple hours later.


Remi's List Of Naughty Things (and to be added to...):
1. She now urinates in the house. The past 2-3 weeks we've had to throw out the rug by the back door, and her dog bed(s), and now clean the carpet.
2. When we used to try to use a gentle leader on her for walks, she would rub her face on the ground until her muzzle would bleed, then eventually she chewed up her gentle leader, so that was that.
3. She chewed up the sandals I got in Mexico, so I couldn't exactly go re-buy them.
4. She chewed a pair of Erik's really nice Born Sandals, and he wasn't too happy about that.
5. The worst thing she chewed was the footboard on our new bedset, and that was $70 to replace.
6. She chewed a computer wire/plug in of Erik's that was expensive.
7. She will SHREAD all dog toys (even your dog's toys!), the only kind we can buy her cost about $20.
8. The bones we buy to entertain her when we're gone during the day, she'll chew up and then reguritate later. That's always fun to clean up.
9. But if she's not entertained during the day, she over-grooms herself so her rear end and back legs are now balding.
10. Another serious thing that happened was last Thanksgiving day. We came home to find she had consumed an entire 30ct bottle of Erik's blood pressure medication. I induced her vomiting at home, and luckily she was ok.
11. We own three baby gates - because she used to be left out all day downstairs, until she started chewing up our kitchen area rugs, that cost us about $150, we had to replace the rugs 3 or 4 times.
12. Baby gates are also used in front of the office room door, because she eats the cat's food, drinks all their water, and gets into their litter box (enough said.) I've tried a certain medication for that to.
13. Another thing that started after this past winter: she has broke through multiple collars out on her tie-out outside. Then she runs away, and it always takes about 45 minutes to find her again. We have even been late to work because of this.
14. It's not her fault, but she has a disorder called Seasonal Flank Alopecia where she will lose hair and then regrow hair on her sides for the rest of her life, there's no cure, it's just cosmetic.
15. She's also part Pit Bull, so her reputation will always be against her.

Thanksgiving Day

A shredded ball

No more Gentle Leader

My sandals I got in Mexico!!

We argue about Remi a lot, and it's getting to the end of the rope. I do have a major concern with what people will think though, especially when I'm in the Veterinary field. "Way to adopt a younger dog, only to get rid of her a year later." For now tonight, the steam has blown off, and we've decided to give her a 16th chance, and I'm going to take her in for a Urinalysis and Bloodwork to see if there is something else going on.

food wars...

"We need to get back on the band wagon with eating healthier meals at home." I always say this to Erik. But especially in the past few weeks since we've gotten back from our North Shore trip, we haven't done any major grocery shopping.

I eat pretty healthy throughout the work day, and I pack a variety of things to bring with me from home, so I eat very little at night. 

Then it gets tricky because I get home from work about 2 hours before he gets home, so I either feed myself a little something, or if I wait for him, we end up eating dinner pretty late.

Erik doesn't eat much at all (if anything) during his work day, because he states that "time is money", so then he'll end up gorging himself at night. 

There's a lot of arguments over WHAT to eat and WHEN to eat it. It is quite ridiculous. Now that I'm thinking about it....it's nearly every day. That's kinda sad, we really should try harder. 

Even on the weekends: I like to eat breakfast, but he's never hungry until almost 2-3:00 in the afternoon.

Erik doesn't drink anything but his one beer of choice, pop, Redbull, or gatorade. He doesn't like fruits, many vegetables, or anything even remotely healthy, like sushi or yogurt. He's just a straight up steak and potatoes guy. He also lives for pizza, chinese food, and pastas.

It's a recipe for obesity LOL, and I just can't allow myself to eat like that.

It does get kind of frustrating. But at the same time I'm not going to tell him what to eat and when to eat it. I do know people that dictate that type of thing with their husbands, but I'm just not like that. I'm not going to treat him like a child and order him around. He gets what he wants at a restaurant or at the grocery store, but I don't allow bags of Reese's to just come home all the time, if you know what I mean.

We have compromised on a few things though, like turkey cheddar brats, rather then regular brats. I have also switched us to whole wheat pasta brands. We try to do the vegetable steam bags as sides, and he will eat a salad if I make it-but he won't eat a lot of cold vegetable mix-ins.

I would welcome any comments to this post, but for now our only solution is to buy separate things at the grocery store, and eat meals...for the most part, pretty separately. When we grill, that's the only time he can make what he wants, and make me what I want, at the same time. :)

One winter day I made Spinach & Steak Pinwheels with Rosemary Red Potatoes 

a quote from another blog

"Being happy doesn't mean everything is perfect. 
It means you have decided to look beyond the imperfections."

Shannon

At The Library for my birthday

Erik is friends with Kevin. They met at and both still work for Leighton's Garage. So I guess it's been 5-6 years now that I have known Shannon. I was in her wedding. It's kind of a funny story: when Kevin and Shannon announced their engagement, I jokingly told her that she BETTER put me in her wedding. Later, Erik told me I was going to be a bridesmaid before she even asked me. I don't think I believed it at first, but was overjoyed when she confirmed it. I think that was the first wedding I've been in.

In Duluth taking a boat tour

Shannon is always ready to party, which is funny, because upon first meeting her, she seems kinda shy. 

I also don't think she would fight with you if you tried, she's probably about the easiest person to get along with that I have ever met. Shannon's younger brother and sister are amazing, and her parents are very kind. I have to say though, that she has one Aunt (not posting names) that is seriously a 21 year old in an older ladies' body. She is a blast!!! You know who you are! :)

Shannon's Wedding Day!

At Shannon's bachelorette party

In Duluth at Pizza Luce

At the Leighton's Garage Christmas Party

Shannon is the type of friend that I don't see much of, but always want to! We always fall right back in to talking, like I was just with her yesterday. She is my partner in crime at Leighton's Garage Christmas Parties every year. I always look forward to it! Shannon, I'm sure you are following this blog, and I hope you know how much I value our friendship and I can only wish I look JUST LIKE this on my wedding day.........

Party Like a Rockstar

an actual wedding info update

There have been a lot of questions lately, so I wanted to address some...
At the end of this year, the plan is to send out our Christmas/New Year cards with formal invites - to the wedding party, close friends, and immediate family. The invites will be to our elopement/wedding ceremony, and will contain as much information as we can provide.
In our minds, this gives these certain people 1 year to save if they want to be there with us. I think this is more then smart and fair so that people are able to plan accordingly.
*Understandably, we are ALL on a budget these days*
We will be gone the week of 12/12/12 for 7-10 days. We would hope that people will entertain the idea of "going on vacation" and come share our Big Day with us, staying maybe 2 nights, 3 days - something like that. YES, it will be within the U.S., and YES it will only be at an all inclusive resort. NO, we do not know yet where this will be, we have been looking at many locations.
Then sometime right after the New Year we will have a normal reception celebration with a "wedding in the woods theme" somewhere in the Twin Cities.

Katelyn

This past year or more has been really difficult for me with feeling so detached from my 2 brothers during current (never ending) family issues. Especially when there is a wedding in our future, and I want both my brothers in it. 

I have cried so hard at times in recent months over my brothers. I've thought to myself in those moments that it was almost like a high school breakup, in that- the pain, the loss, and the heartache literally hurt so much, I felt like I could die. It's ridiculous how much I love my brothers, and how much I hold on for dear life when I am with them (though I never act like it or they would be creeped out LOL.) That sibling love was more apparent when they both seemed to choose a side in our family fighting. I was devastated, angry, and felt betrayed. Christmas of 2010 put me in such a depression, that I sought out group therapy on my own and went for quite a few months.

Currently, I am talking with the older of the two brothers, and thankfully, he has spent a lot of time with me (and Erik) and we've done a lot of pretty fun things recently. It means so much to me that we can spend some quality summer time together, he has no idea how much I value it. "Better one, then none" is what I tell everyone. 

Katelyn & I at the Engagement Party

But family drama really makes me wish that I had a sister, someone to break things up and throw a curve ball in. Sometimes I truly believe that if I had a sister, our sibling bond wouldn't be broken or mettled with no matter what was going on with the rest of the family. I feel like a sister would hear me out, know I was telling the truth about how things really went down, and would stand up in my defense. Not that she would choose sides, that's not what I want, but she would be my voice when I needed someone to step up and say, "no it didn't happen that way" or tell my parents "this isn't right and you know it."

Myself, Katelyn, and Erik in Duluth.

Katelyn, Me, and Erik

Thank god for sister in laws. She is amazing (she's for sure the SPOILED child) but amazing. She is so fun to be with, we are two peas in a pod. She's educated, has an awesome sense of style, and a really sarcastic humor. She's a little spit fire. That's a recipe for disaster for me ;)

I love spending time with her, it is so therapeutic for me to have a bond like this with her as my future sister in law. She knows me for me, she knows what kind of person I am. She always wants to be included, and she's excited to help plan our wedding. We love you!!

Best & First Wedding Gift Received

This is probably now one of our most prized possessions.
R.I.P Our dear friend Lexy

♫ the ring didn't mean a thing... ♫

This is just a goofy, stupid song from one of my guilty pleasures... Real Housewives of Atlanta.

Last year when we were ready to move from Excelsior, Erik asked me "do you want a house, or do you want a ring?" I said a house of course. 

August 13th of this year marks 7 years that we have been together, and you know what, by then you ARE married. It's funny how bad I wanted our engagement day to come after waiting for so long. Especially when the bitterness was creeping in, watching other friends get married and starting their families. But I was quick to realize that wearing this glittery thing on my left hand, really doesn't change anything. 

Guess what world: marriage is overrated. The hype of it left me about as soon as it came. One week I was diving into magazines and websites, and ideas, and plans....and then it just stopped. I cancelled appointments for venues, I cancelled our trip to the Wedding Expo.

It's not that I wasn't happy about it. I'm just a realist. 

1. I'm not rich, my family isn't rich, his family isn't rich, and this all costs money. And a lot of it at that. Erik and I just worked the last few years clearing our debt and saving our money to buy our first home, I AM NOT going to dive back in to living beyond our means, or charging anything. I am very proud to say that we don't charge anything, anymore, at all.

2. Another main reason my initial excitement died off so quickly, was the realization that Erik and I both have issues within both sides of our families...and a wedding is such that you need your family, you need help with everything that comes along with it. This is sure gonna be a trip.

I still have many single friends, and I want them and everyone else to know that getting that ring on your hand doesn't stop your arguing and fighting, it doesn't make your relationship any different then what it is now (he's not going to jump up and just start loading the dishwasher), and it doesn't resolve family drama, if anything, family drama only gets worse. A ring is not the end all, cure all.

The day we got engaged we kept it to ourselves and enjoyed our Valentine's Day plans, the next day is when we called our best friends, and some family...

FAMILY.

This is a tough word for me, it's a difficult pill to swallow, and it will soon be a topic of many future blog posts. Hell, it could very well be it's own blog, just wait!!

I didn't call my 2 younger brothers or my mom or my dad to tell them I was engaged. At that point, things with all of them were so far gone, I only wanted my phone calls to be reciprocated with happiness and excitement on the other end of the line. I didn't want my moment to be ruined. 

But I still look back on that day with a broken heart that I couldn't share that happy moment with my family. I can never get that day back. I secretly wanted the winds of gossip to carry to them, and have them call me, have all our issues be resolved, have them want to be apart of it all, wave the magic wand...

But in real life there is no magic wand.

In real life your dad calls you early one Saturday morning and leaves an angry, resentful message about how he's heard about the engagement and he's going to erase my number on his phone. This is the straw that breaks the camel's back... Thanks for not calling any of us. He states how I will never understand marriage, or his marriage for that matter. How I will "JUST NEVER GET IT". Will I just leave Erik when times get hard, because you don't just ditch a person. Oh- and thanks Erik for not asking his permission, etc. 

I kept that message on my phone, and I let a bunch of people listen to it, but eventually I deleted it, so I could never hear it again. I hadn't spoken to my dad in over a year, and that is the first contact I got. 

In closing this post, a ring doesn't bring families back together...

quiet morning up...

This is a ridiculous time to be awake (for me). But I am pretty excited about blogging, even though this has been around for a while and I JUST got on the bus.
...Another reason why I am most definitely not ready for kids. QUIET PEACEFUL MORNINGS to myself, on my own schedule.
Sleep is vital, for both of us. We both work hard and we stay pretty busy, so we are tired, all the time.
*I highly respect the friends that I have that do have children or are expecting*, but I go back and forth on whether or not it's really for me, or for us, for that matter.
I love my personal space, and I love my free time. We love to do whatever we want, when we want. I am also a person with little patience, as I get annoyed very easily...so no patience + a kid = Well you can only guess!! But we'll see. Erik doesn't particularly like kids, especially loud ones :) But he knows the Schmidt last name will die with him if he doesn't procreate, so there you go.

I may be nieve here, but it also annoys (haha) me that it seems that the second you have a kid, it consumes your life. No really, CONSUMES. I guess I have watched this manifest in different ways, but some people never take the time for themselves anymore, and you deserve to!! Some people NEVER get babysitters...why? Most friends and family are dying to take your kid for you, so go enjoy a date night for god's sake!! And yes, you CAN still go out with friends!!
It really bothers me when people say, "when I had my kid, my friends disappeared." Ahhhh, this goes BOTH WAYS. Enough said.

I do know a few people that keep it all pretty balanced: they are excellent parents, but they don't forget that their individuals to, as well as a couple. Nurture your kids, but nurture your relationship to.

Anyway, time for a shower before work. This certain post sounds a little....well you know what, I don't care what it sounds like. This is my soap box, and these are my feelings, so I'm not going to apologize or soften any of this around the edges. That's what a blog is for, being you.

The start of the beginning.

Hello family and friends!!
I am starting this blog to keep everyone updated on our thoughts and ideas to the count down of 12/12/12.
This is all we have really decided, the date :)
We got engaged on Valentine's Day <3
We are 90% sure that we are eloping for our ceremony and then coming back to throw a huge reception bash after the New Year. This blog will be real, emotional, and raw....it's our life!! So stay tuned!