it's the people that show up for you that matter...

After Erik & I announced our Engagement, his 2 best friends were over at our house one night and offered to throw us an Engagement Party. I was a little taken back because we hadn't even thought of doing anything. Immediately I also had hesitations because of some serious family issues going on, and I didn't think certain family members of mine would even attend, but I told Erik's friends to let us think about it. 

A day or so later, we decided to just have a "friends only dinner". This way, we could have a fun, stress free evening and wouldn't have to worry about the "darker corners" of our lives.

They knew our wedding theme was all about nature and the outdoors, but I never expected it to be set up so beautifully. I was literally at a loss for words when we walked into the restaurant area we had reserved that night to see the table centerpieces, cupcakes, treats, and little plaques with sayings. I couldn't have set it up better myself. Erik's friends that were hosting also bought a round of appetizers for everyone, and we all just sat back to eat and talk for a couple hours.

I wanted to showcase pictures of "Erik's friends" because there's a deeper meaning to this particular blog entry.

In my mind, my friends and his friends would mix and mingle that night...but in fact, they stayed separate. That's ok though, I happily went from table to table, just thankful to those that had made it.

The difference is, I don't have one big tight knit "group" of friends that all grew up together. My friends are an eclectic group of past co-workers, high school, and college friends. And I haven't personally kept a *best friend* since I was in high school - back when girls were backstabbing, catty, mean, clicky, and gossipy. LOL, what's changed really? I'm damaged goods, I've hurt and have been hurt.
I guess the reason I don't give someone the title of a best friend anymore is because in my experience it's a lot of up-keep, like having a second boyfriend or something. I don't like to be smothered, I don't like answering to someone, and I have always hated those really big fights. :) I also give what I get, and I like to keep friendships very equal and fair. If you're close with me, you know I'm a HUGE advocate for "doing the right thing", and there's very few women that follow this motto.

But no really, I like my friends in different zip codes, I like them all different...and when they don't all know each other, it's almost gossip/drama free every time you get together!! I like to keep my friends at an arms length, but they know that I'm only a phone call away.
And is it just me that thinks you get a long better with certain people when you don't see them as often?????? Think what you will of me, but I'm perfectly happy this way.

Erik's group of friends either all grew up together, or have known each other for years and years. But when I met them, I never quite felt like I could give them my all because I knew I was an outsider, not an "original". When you're dating someone, they always feel like "his friends", not yours. And yeah, sometimes you feel left out if they reminisce of old times when they were all 16 years old. There's always been the hesitant, cautious feeling in the back of my mind not to get too attached, because I never knew what would happen with Erik and I, and if something did, these people would no longer be my friends. I mean, let's be serious, they were never mine to begin with, they were his.

But now that I am marrying into this group, I finally feel 100% apart of this dysfunctional family ;)
We ARE a family. I have known this group of people for 7 years and I am officially attached. The group expands and shrinks and changes, but if you have something important planned, they will be there. And it's the people that show up for you that matter.
Erik says QUOTE, "Life long friends lift you up, let you down, pass away, grow up and have kids, but at the end of the day they're still you're friends no matter what. We rise and fall as one. I can pick up the phone if I need help and they won't blink an eye. I've been friends with them for so long that I can't imagine anything separating us. It will be that way forever."