brother

It took this whole week, but I finally came to find some inner peace...
In knowing that I can't change your mind.
And so I'm giving up and letting go, you're just not the listening kind.

No friendly advances or softness will coaxe you,
Nothing can get through your thick barriers to break you.
I understand you can't force someone to care for or love you,
But I am feeling this loss, this emptiness... which is you.

I read these words you write, and they burn into me like fire.
Please believe I'm not this person that you think I am,
I'm not selfish, out of my mind, or a liar.

It's so easy for you to say things without even thinking,
Of this dark and bottomless hole in which I am sinking...
You're not here to see the hurt inflicted by your words,
And my memories won't erase what I've now read and heard.

How can you thrive and gain strength from all my fallen tears?
I wonder if I loose luster and slowly die over the worsening years...

I really don't live "the perfect little life" that you think that I do.
How can I prove how much I really need you...?
But I can't change what is, and I can't change what was,
I can only choose my own way, not what anyone else does.

I guess time is not only my enemy, it also is my friend...
Because I choose how I deal with it's passing,
A heart continuing to break / or a heart on the mend.